Why I Don't Care Much for Christmas

Since this blog is looking a bit empty and I won't have a new entry until tomorrow, I've decided to pilfer something from my Tumblr blog.

Obviously this thing isn't exactly timely but the sentiment is still the same.

Enjoy!

-Tony

Christmas is the one time of year where people get together with loved ones to give each other presents and eat…

…or something.

Christmas is a weird time of year for me. While I’m sure not the only one who feels this way, Christmas just doesn’t hold much significance for me. It once used to but it hasn’t for about two decades now.

Gather ‘round and let me share MY Christmas story with you.

Like everyone else, I used to LOVE Christmas when I was a wee kid. I got presents from some awesome dude name Santa, what’s not to love about that? My mom usually bought me whatever toys I wanted (that we could afford) throughout the year but December 25 was the time when Santa came and gave me a REALLY special gift. Christmas morning was always the best part. Waking up at dawn, heading to the tree and finding that one box with my name on it. It was great.

This lasted until I was about seven or eight. Shortly after we had moved from the Dominican Republic to New York, my mom told me that there is no Santa Claus. She’s the one who bought me the presents every year. This came as a shock to my younger self but after thinking about it… it totally made sense. How did Santa get into our home? We had no chimney and he was too fat to come in through the window. At one point I just assumed that my parents,well, my mom would let Santa in through the front door. I was going to say that my parents let him in but my dad was always too drunk to do anything but cry or be passed out—but I digress.

I often think about how I believed in Santa but never believed in a god. I was born into a Catholic family who were insanely religious. I never much cared for them so I became an atheist just to spite them. Later on in life and after getting educated, I learned that religion—all of them—are lies created by man because of his fear of death. As a kid I didn’t believe in god just to be a ‘lil rebel.

I didn’t believe in god but I did in Santa. Why? Well, there were presents—proof of his existence. Those fake reports that track Santa’s movements every year only made me believe he was real even more. I guess like most religious people do, I just WANTED to believe in Santa and I tricked myself into doing so.

My feelings for Christmas changed after the big reveal. Now that I knew it was my mom who bought me presents each year, I took a more active role in my gift buying. We’d go to the store and look for what I wanted. Now that I knew there was no Santa, there was no need to go to sleep early so I can wake up at dawn. I’d wait until midnight and open my gift. While all of this was cool for a couple of years, it started to drain the Christmas spirit away from me. The whole point of Christmas to me was being given gifts by a magical man. Without that, it seemed kind of hollow and pointless.

Around my 13th birthday my mom said that I’m too old to want Christmas presents and that she would no longer get me any. This made sense to me. Money was tight in those times and Christmas was just a thing for kids anyway. For a few years, my friends and I would give each other gifts but we all eventually came to a “no gifts” understanding. It just seemed stupid to spend money on each other when we could just spend that on ourselves. My friend Manny refused to do this for many years and because he bought me stuff I had to get him stuff too. I eventually convinced him to stop giving me Christmas gifts too. I’m an adult and if I want something I can just buy it.

As I became a man I finally saw Christmas for what it was—a greedy, consumer based holiday. There is no “holiday spirit” or whatever about this day. It’s a day for corporations to leech money from people. The fact that the Christmas shopping season now starts before Halloween lends credence to this.

Christmas means nothing more to me than a day where places close early (if they open at all) and all of my TV shows get replaced by holiday specials. Yeah, my mom—the person who broke my Christmas spirit—still makes Christmas dinner and I do enjoy that, but this day really isn’t anything special to me anymore. I sometimes wish that I could recapture the magic of Christmas but I think that’s just something to be left in the past like a lot of childhood fantasies.

I hope everyone of you who does celebrate Christmas and who genuinely love this holiday have a great time. Me? I’ll just be here doing what I do each day. That’s what Christmas is after all… just another day.

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